The dreaded mum guilt has been weighing heavily on my mind recently, I know I’m not getting to spend enough quality time with Zac, nowhere near as much as I would like and I feel so guilty that I’m missing out on new experiences, new words and just being present.
I’ve always been relatively career driven in the sense that I had a work hard, play hard attitude often taking on more hours or a second job to pay for the life I wanted. When Zac came along my whole attitude to work definitely shifted, in fact a complete 180! My priority now is Zac, work is work and time is so precious, I feel like my head and my heart is torn.
Financially I’m in no position to have the option of spending everyday with Zac but it hurts my heart that I can’t and even though in the long run working to pay for a roof over his head, clothes on his back and food in his tummy is what my head tells me, this over riding guilt makes me feel like I’m not doing enough.
Recently Tara and I had a slow day with the boys, no rushing to be anywhere or do anything and it was so refreshing to just sit on the floor with them, watch them play, hear their chats and go on a long walk where we could take our time and dander at toddler speed! We both commented on how we miss out on these moments rushing along with the hustle of day to day life.
Expecting baby number two I’m worried I’ll have even less quality time yet double the guilt! I think this is where my recent thoughts towards the work/life balance have come from, I know this is a constant struggle for most Mother’s I’ve spoken to and I guess it’s just another ball for us all to juggle!